(reposted from MySpace.com/bestofjess)
Ok, it's not my wedding. But, kinda, it is. It's the biggest day of my year, that's for damn sure and it's in two weeks and 20 hours (ish). The plans are done, the RSVPs are pouring in, my mom has (thankfully) taken care of a lot of the details (and the bills!). And I have finally settled on my bridesmaids dress, which I bought and just prayed that the bride would think was perfect (it's a little "fluffy," but after all, what would a wedding be with out fluffy bridesmaids??).
SO WHY AM I STRESSED?? Ha! Funny you should ask...
Well, first of all, there are a few people coming into KC, mostly to help ME enjoy the wedding (I love you Stacey and Jims!). They need a place to stay, of course. I keep saying I'm going to get a couch, but haven't, so now I'm searching desperately for so much as a day bed that will accomodate guests. Then another friend says he'll be in town and can entertain my guests Friday night, since I have to be wrinkle, bag and hangover-free by 8:30am on Saturday the 22nd (I love you Thompson!), but he needs a place to stay (!) so that's two sleeping bags I have to rustle up :) (kidding, guys).
Then, Frenchie (real name: Guillaume) who has been staying with his girlfriend in Minnesota and has been completely unreachable for a month or two now. He finally calls me Wednesday to say he got his plane flight settled to come back through KC. He flies out of KC MONDAY THE 24TH and wants to come in a week early to spend time with me, since we haven't so much as TALKED in over a month! No. Daddy, NO (that's for you, Jay). I do not have the time or room in my life for another person's schedule that week. I honestly miss him, but come on... can Karma give me a little budge room here?
On top of that, I have a new baby in the family (shout out to Baby Ben), who's "welcome to the world" party is the Sunday after the wedding, which is the ONLY day I'd actually be able to spend with any of my friends that are coming in town that weekend for the wedding.
AND, it's like engagements are contagious! Why are all you people getting married, dammit! (I love all you engaged and practically engaged people, no worries!) :)
Oh yeah, and my job is at the all time lowest level of activity I've seen since I first got here and didn't know the difference between prime time and rotators. Plus, I'm reminded every day that it's not what I've cut out for myself in life and that I keep sliding further backward on the scale of pursuing what I DO want to be doing (no I won't tell you what it is, so don't ask). I wonder what the rest of the world has in store for me. I wonder if that opportunity being nonagressively mentioned from a trusted source is just waiting for me and if I should stop trying so hard here and just start over like they did (you girls already know I love you, but I love you). Can I really leave KC and shake up my life, when my sister is making so many big changes, including marriage and moving to NYC (good luck, Pooh!)?
This week was a three day week and I can't make myself get to work. I know everyone else is a little slow too, but still... I'll have been here at Mix 93.3 (Mix luuv, what?) for one year on August 1st. Other than the commission checks I'll start to make, "what's my motivation" to stay?
"If making money is not your objective here, I suggest you leave" - Director of Sales.
Hmm... I wonder if I could fix eyeglasses in Florida... sounds peaceful...
