On An Atypical and Uncharacteristic Personal Note
Do boys have to go through a class in how to dick girls over? Because by the time they're twenty five, each and every one of them has learned the art of "blow off" or better yet, "do me then I'll blow you off." Is it so much to ask for men to have emotions? I know they exist in you... I see how you look affectionately at your best guy friend. I know how important it is to you that your grandpa or even your mother is proud of something you've done. Then, suddenly, sure as Jekyl and Hyde, you act like spending time with the girl you've feigned interest in and made believe you actually care about (we're talking friends or girlfriends here) is a terrible way to interrupt your extremely important task of sitting around, breathing oxygen. The time of day off your watch would be too long a sentence or too heavy a phone call to make.
So again, I ask: is there a class for this? DON'T YOU EVER NEED A SUBSTITUTE TEACHER? I'll volunteer. I work well with men. They're the majority of my close friends. I've heard "deck talk" (i.e. guy gossip) that would make a nice little girl's skin crawl. That's how I know they're all slimeballs (a few choice exceptions are excluded but will not be enumerated here; trust me, if you think you're on the list of exceptions, you're probably not). I've heard how you talk about a girl who is heavy set around the middle... or the girl who made out with (or other activities) with every guy in your circle of friends. You didn't seem to mind her when she was with you... Which is it? Do you want us to be the dream girl that stars in porn films, has a great body and talks dirty? Perhaps it's either that or the boring girl you take home to your family and who you trust to raise your children... but who'll you'll most likely cheat on before hitting your fifth wedding anniversary? Or do you want us to (heaven forbid) be ourselves -- whoever it is that strikes us at that moment... and then you can complain about how we're all crazy, schitzophrenic bitches.
Anyone care to offer insight?
So again, I ask: is there a class for this? DON'T YOU EVER NEED A SUBSTITUTE TEACHER? I'll volunteer. I work well with men. They're the majority of my close friends. I've heard "deck talk" (i.e. guy gossip) that would make a nice little girl's skin crawl. That's how I know they're all slimeballs (a few choice exceptions are excluded but will not be enumerated here; trust me, if you think you're on the list of exceptions, you're probably not). I've heard how you talk about a girl who is heavy set around the middle... or the girl who made out with (or other activities) with every guy in your circle of friends. You didn't seem to mind her when she was with you... Which is it? Do you want us to be the dream girl that stars in porn films, has a great body and talks dirty? Perhaps it's either that or the boring girl you take home to your family and who you trust to raise your children... but who'll you'll most likely cheat on before hitting your fifth wedding anniversary? Or do you want us to (heaven forbid) be ourselves -- whoever it is that strikes us at that moment... and then you can complain about how we're all crazy, schitzophrenic bitches.
Anyone care to offer insight?
posted by Jess at 4:00 PM
6 Comments:
One amendment to my post:
If you think that you appreciate your relationship with whomever you're with and that you respect her feelings and never refer to her as "overemotional" and keep open communication with her, you might be on the list. There is a percentage of guys out there that actually give a damn and try for their women. I'm friends with a few of them.
I agree. I will never stop expecting what my daddy told me I deserved.
You're in good company of bad spellers (*cough* Intel Cit) :) And yeah... what happened to what my parents have? They still madly in love after 25 years of marriage! And just so we're clear, the "taste of your own medicine" is my favorite bar game ;)
Wow.
Considering how late I am to this discussion, I don't know that an attempt to defend my species will really do any good. I will, however, offer the suggestion that perhaps society as a whole (or more specifically pop culture) should shoulder a great deal of the responsibility for the gender roles you seem to have so much ire for. And while I won't claim that MTV is an excuse for any type of bad behavior, male or female, it is certainly a good place to start when looking for an explanation.
It's been so long since I've seen an available, straight man with aspirations and romanticism complimenting his character as an upstanding gentleman of society that perhaps I've lost sight of the fact that they do indeed exist. We keep saying that "all we want" is our knight in shining armour. I'm fully prepared to be a lady in order to honor and deserve said knight. I've been striving for it my whole life. And somehow, I've been settling for the court jester over and over again, watching the princes woo the princesses, and feeling bitter and excluded. Though I cringe a little at the thought of being that 'perfect couple' as opposed to being two impressive beings who happen to be in love with each other, I still dream of the man who will ride up beside me, offer me his hand and ask to be a part of my heart and my life.
Neither species is perfect, otherwise, life wouldn't be what it is. I just hold my breath for the long lost art of reaching for perfection and achievement, in a personal, emotional and professional sense.
Not to be ignored, the comment on gender roles in our society is indeed the root of many traits that we reprimand here. It is accepted and expected of men of a certain age or social group to act, talk and treat other people this way.
Good point, "Google-lover" :)
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