What if the Hokey Pokey Really is What's All About?
Ok, not the Hokey Pokey, but is it really all about getting married? And if not... why is that always the first question people ask you when you haven't seen them for awhile... "So are you seeing anybody" or as a high school acquaintance asked last night: "So why aren't you wearin' a ring yet?"
posted by Jess at 8:17 PM
3 Comments:
I actually almost commented on that, too: the fact that if a woman is single (or not dating a boy) that you have to wonder if she doesn't prefer women?
I won't even justify that with a response. Single and same sex oriented are both fully viable options, but don't assume the latter and if you're smart... don't ask it either.
It's not necesarily about marriage, but it is about finding that "someone" or "something". I think we all have an innate need or desire for that thing, be it the opposite sex, the same sex - even something less organic like a fulfilling job or hobby. So those you run into, that ask you about a ring, or about a prospective hubby - they're just asking if you've found your "thing", in their own way. Perhaps a more progressive/forward-thinking person would have asked "what's going on in your life now?" instead of "why no ring?", or perhaps not.
I would personally interpret the way you were asked about no ring as a compliment, considering the way it was asked and what the person who asked you was probably thinking.
And for those that may assume because a woman is single, that the woman is gay (or otherwise somehow defective), then of course those people are using skewed logic - if using any logic at all. But I won't go off on that topic too much, since beating up straw men really isn't my thing.
That actually makes perfect sense. That instead of actually asking if I've married myself off yet, they're just wondering if I've found that thing that makes me happy. I just wish they'd ask that. I actually ran into an old friend last month that just straight up (second sentence out of his mouth) asked me "So, are you happy?" He didn't ask me if I liked my job in particular or if I was with someone. He just asked me if I was genuinely happy. How forward-thinking of him...
And it is an interesting perspective to consider asking about "a ring" as flattery of some sort. I didn't even see it from that potential angle. Perhaps I've become a little quick to judge that statement...
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